Natural remedies for grief, grieving & bereavement

As I write this post (Sept 2022), many in the UK are feeling shock and grief after the death of HRH Queen Elizabeth II. Whether you’re a fan of the monarchy or not, there’s no doubt that the late Queen was an icon, especially given the length of her record-breaking reign, and of course the death of a famous person (who we can feel we know, even if we don’t) can genuinely trigger profound grief, perhaps because any death can remind us of others we’ve loved and lost. When we’re grieving, homeopathy can help, if an appropriate homeopathic remedy is selected and taken.

It’s a truism that grief is the price we pay for love - and what a hideously heavy price it can feel when it’s right there, up close and personal, and in our face. If you’re grieving right now, please know that you’re not alone (even if it feels like that), and that homeopathic and non-homeopathic help can be found - this article offers some suggestions for homeopathic self-help, and includes links for a few non-homeopathic resources (below). If you need support, I urge you to seek it - please.

No homeopathic remedy can take away the pain of losing a loved one - and nor should it. Our pain is a testament to the depth of our love. But the right homeopathic remedy, used judiciously, can help us walk our path through grief and loss in a more grounded, resilient and balanced way, leading us (in time) to learn to carry on with life and forge a new path - one where we hold the happy memories of our loved one in our heart, but allow the loss hold us back from experiencing life.

Homeopathic remedies for grief, loss and bereavement

Any one of the many thousands of homeopathic remedies can be suitable for an individual’s grief, if it’s the perfect match (the simillimum) for that particular person, but these are a few commonly-needed homeopathic remedies for people who are grieving:

Ignatia - usually the first homeopathic remedy to think of for anyone suffering the ill-effects of grief, loss, bereavement, seriously bad news, or disappointment (including love disappointment, or a broken heart). A dose, or a few doses if needed, can often help just take the edge off the rawness of grief or loss, enabling us to process the loss a little more smoothly. Think of Ignatia for the immediate aftermath of recent or devastating grief, especially if you’re frequently sighing, have a lump in your throat, or can’t stop crying - or if you’re afraid to start crying as it feels like you’ll never stop. The remedy suits those with a feeling of the world just isn’t how it should be.

Aconite - more of a shock remedy than a grief one, I tend to think of Aconite if the shock of a bereavement doesn’t give way to other emotions and the person seems to stay stuck in shock and disbelief, not able to process the fact of the loss at all. It’s commonly thought that there are distinct stages of grief that we move through in turn, but this isn’t so - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the person credited with introducing the idea of those stages of grief was actually writing about the stages of grief a terminally-ill or dying person may experience.

Nat-mur - often helpful for more longstanding, chronic grief, this remedy suits those private people who tend to hide their grief behind a stiff upper lip, tending to seek out solitude to cry alone, unable to cry after a loss, or only letting their pain show in front of their very closest and trusted friends or family - what homeopaths call silent grief. Interestingly, this remedy is made from sea salt, and folks who do well on the remedy often crave salt (or salty snacks like crisps or peanuts). Sensitive souls underneath, a Nat-mur person is often moved to tears by music, and can often have lived with the ill-effects of chronic grief for some time. One way of looking at the underlying feeling of the remedy might be: I’ve put up a protective wall, so that I won’t be so hurt again.

Pulsatilla - a remedy suitable for more emotional and changeable types who can often change quickly from tears to smiles and back again, this remedy often suits mild people who cry quite easily and feel better for being hugged and held, and for being consoled. Known as often being a helpful remedy for girls at puberty, or for some cases of PMT with weepiness (compare with Sepia), and usually sweet and gentle, Pulsatilla types can also be whiny, irritable or demanding at times. The underlying feeling of the remedy is I’ve been abandoned and forsaken.

Phos-ac - also often needed during convalescence after a bad illness or fever, this remedy could be indicated for you if grieving means you are pining. Tired, worn out or weak, often with no appetite (Ignatia), Phos-ac types are mentally and physically prostrated and debilitated by their grief, so much that they’re indifferent to anything going on around them, sometimes not even expressing their sadness and seeming dull and foggy-brained (I’ve used it quite a bit lately as a homeopathic support remedy for clients presenting with long Covid, or just as a tonic homeopathy remedy post-Covid). Also often helpful for homesickness causing pining and pining from a broken heart. The keynote of the remedy is: I’m pining.

Causticum - a deep remedy, usually best taken under professional recommendation, Causticum often suits those with deep bitter, and raw grief, sometimes after successive losses of friends or family members. As a remedy type, a Causticum would tend to have issues around injustice, often being campaigners and activists, tending to stand up for the underdog. Consider Causticum if you find yourself stuck feeling it’s not fair.

Staphysagria - related to Causticum, this remedy could be beneficial if you get stuck feeling that you’re absolutely furious deep down, but can’t express your anger, or (conversely) if you keep flying off the handle. Think of Staphysagria if you get stuck in grief with anger.

Aurum - another deeper remedy, best used with the help and guidance of a professional homeopath, Aurum suits types who strive and achieve (it’s made from gold, so think of a person going for gold), but who can suffer greatly when they suffer a major set-back such as a bereavement or job loss. An Aurum type tends to sink into despair or depression more easily than some when this happens (though there are hundreds of remedies that professional homeopaths choose from to try and help clients presenting with depression), and a dose or two of this remedy in the right potency (strength) for the individual can bring the sunshine and joy back.

Vibrational flower essences for grief, loss and bereavement

As with homeopathic remedies, there’s a huge range of vibrational flower essences that could be indicated for grief, but my go-to for clients in the immediate aftermath of a recent loss or bereavement is Australian Bush Flower Essence Red Suva Frangipani. This essence can be taken daily for a time, as needed, to help bring inner peace and strength to cope during times of emotional upheaval, turmoil and rawness. Think of adding this essence into your self-help care any time you experience the initial grief, sadness and upset of a relationship failing or the death of a loved one.

I often recommend Sturt Desert Pea, from the same Australian Bush Flower Essence range, when my clients are suffering deep hurts and sorrows, are in severe emotional pain, and tell me they need to let go and release deep-held grief and sadness. This essence really does seem to help trigger healthy grieving.

If clients come to me feeling a deep state of despair, hopelessness and feeling an inability to cope after a bereavement (as well as encouraging them to get appropriate support in place), I often suggest a short course of Waratah Australian Bush Flower Essence, to help promote courage, tenacity and adaptability. It’s amazing how often this essence seems to help pull clients back from the brink of despair, thankfully. Think of this essence if you’re facing the long dark night of the soul (and reach out for help, too - the Samaritans are always there, for example).

About the remedies & flower essences

Homeopathic remedies are safe for adults, children, babies or animals, but please do read my important disclaimer at the bottom of this post before self-treating. In the UK, individual homeopathic remedies and flower essences are available from Helios Homeopathy and Ainsworths, though UK-based clients registered with Phoenix Homeopathy can get their remedies direct from me.

If you’re new to homeopathy, also hop over to this post for important info on how to take and store homeopathic remedies (spoiler: it’s very different to taking conventional medications) and what to expect.

Flower essences are widely available, including from The Natural Dispensary (see below for link and a discount code).

Links to some relevant support services

The following links are UK-based, but similar services may be available in your locality, so do Google or ask your doctor.

NHS advice on dealing with bereavement, grief and loss - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/

Cruse Bereavement Support - https://www.cruse.org.uk

The Good Grief Trust - https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org

National Bereavement Partnership - https://www.nationalbereavementpartnership.org

At A Loss - https://www.ataloss.org

Childhood Bereavement Network (supporting bereaved children and young people) - https://childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk

Samaritans (befriending service for anyone in crisis) - https://www.samaritans.org

Important disclaimer: please use your common sense, and always seek advice from a conventionally-trained physician if necessary and where appropriate, whether you’re taking homeopathic remedies or not. Complementary remedies should be just that - complementary, not alternative. Seek the help of a professional homeopath or physician if you have a diagnosed condition, or are taking conventional medications or herbs, or if symptoms persist or worsen. The self-help products and remedies mentioned here are some of my own personal favourites - I haven’t been paid for mentioning them, though items ordered from The Natural Dispensary using my discount code ‘Phoenix Eastbourne’ give us both 10% - use that code on registering as a customer and on checking out, and you get that as a discount on all your orders, and I get the same as commission which helps fund a clinic discount scheme for NHS and other blue light workers. And so you know - I never recommend anything unless I genuinely think it’s great. Nope. Just not going to happen.